Restaraunt Review: 12 dollar burgers and fries

Written by Paul Zannucci on 9:35 PM

So I'm at the hospital where my father's surgery has gone poorly, and I've had nothing but 72 ounces of coffee all day, and so I leave and head down to a restaurant I've never tried before, Five Guys Burgers and Fries.

I had considered eating there once before, but didn't because the wife and kids were along and a quick glance at the menu indicated that we would have to forgo our Disney trip to eat there. But now, coming down out of St. Mary's parking lot by myself, I thought I would have a go at it. Still, I was a bit shocked when the cashier said, "That'll be $12.10." My order: a cheeseburger, fries and Coke.

I didn't want to eat in the restaurant. I wanted to eat in the car where the comforting sounds of a local sports talk show could help distract me from thinking about Dad. So I ordered it to go and, eventually, they called me, number 92, to come grab my paper bag with the $12.10 unhappy meal tucked inside.

Sitting in my car, I turn on the radio and start to listen to the conversation regarding the SEC's new television package while I eat my fries. I always eat my fries first because they don't retain heat as long as burgers do and taste best when hottest.

The fries, which were advertised as being cooked in 100% peanut oil, tasted like they were cooked in 100% peanut oil. They were limp, oily and earthy and tasted like I'd made them from scratch at home with the oil at too low a temperature. They came in a 24 oz styrofoam cup. They were fine, but not great.

Thinking I was done with the fries, I reached into the bag and found what seemed like an awfully large amount of fries that had fallen out of the cup. A glance into the bag revealed that there were probably 5 large potatoes worth of fries lying in the bag, probably 3 times as many as were in the cup. I sprinkled salt in the bag and, ketchup long since vanquished, began eating the huge pile of limp, home style fries. Quickly, though, I realized that I was not going to be able to eat the hamburger if I didn't quit, so I gave up on the fries, which is always a hard thing for me to do. 40 years of the clean plate club went down the tubes.

The hamburger, which came with a large variety of options, many of which only an insane person would place on their burger, was too large to fit into the average sized mouth. Fortunately, it was no problem for me. The hamburger was big and, again, reminded me of something I would make at home, only about twice the size.

I suppose that the biggest problem I have with them is the cost. The food was fine, but for $12 I expect to be more than just overwhelmed with quantity (which I don't know would have happened had I eaten in instead of 'to go'). I expect to get true value, which includes a significant portion of quality.

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  1. 3 comments: Responses to “ Restaraunt Review: 12 dollar burgers and fries ”

  2. By Jeremy Sarber on August 26, 2008 at 1:41 AM

    It still sounds like it beats my $9 spaghetti which tasted like menthol.

  3. By The Bald Monkey on August 26, 2008 at 8:33 AM

    Heh, beats the $20 I paid for a Whopper in college because they handed me the food before I handed them my money and I had a brain fart and drove off without waiting for my change.

  4. By Paul Zannucci on August 26, 2008 at 8:41 AM

    Yeah, menthol spaghetti and $20 Whoppers are very not good.

    This was only run-of-the-mill not good.