Life on Mars, Could it settle the Democratic Nomination?

Written by Paul Zannucci on 8:53 PM

In this article from a Korean source (there are lots of articles on this. I picked this one because of its flawless Chinglish), we are reminded of the billions of dollars NASA is spending to answer a question so important that it might just be called idle curiosity--Is or was there ever life on Mars? Of course, Mars is large and far away, so it's going to be a difficult process if the answer turns out to be 'no'. After all, the first three hundred tries can be explained away as being the wrong location to look. On the other hand, if we are lucky enough to find life, or irrefutable evidence of past life, on this try, we'll all be able to lean back in our chairs with satisfied looks on our faces and say, "Yep."

Of course, all space missions have a sort of because-it's-there quality to them. It's the other stuff that comes along with the missions that is helpful. For instance, when China finishes killing all our pets with tainted dog food and all our blood clot victims with tainted heparin, they might start getting around to accidentally shooting down our satellites. So all this practice chucking things into outer space will be useful if we want to be able to replace our television satellites as quickly as possible.

Ah, but Hillary has found a more immediate need for life on Mars. Shown above as she sits at NASA Control Center in Houston and watches for the first round of test results to come back, she has a strong conviction, says a campaign spokesperson, that all life be counted before she can drop out of the race. After all, Obama could accidentally fall off a cruise ship in August, September or maybe even October (hinting at a possible explanation for the Obama October surprise she's been talking about).

And NASA is hopeful. Suddenly remembering that life likes water, they've gone to the Martian pole this time where frozen water sits awaiting analyses. Let's keep our fingers crossed, both for NASA and Hillary, that we'll soon be able to lean back in our chairs and say, "Yep."

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