Evil Conservatives to Kill Santa Claus, Polar Bears and Penguins

Written by Paul Zannucci on 1:25 PM

(All of these photos were a part of news stories about the plight of polar bears and included misleading captions about melting ice.)






Thanks to the resurgent and politically powerful idea of drilling for more oil, the Democrats have decided to unleash an old story via the complicit media today, the fact that there is a chance that the North Pole will be ice-free this year.

This is a story that's been around since last September, when the North Pole came very close to losing all it's ice. In fact, the first article about it came out shortly before then, in August. You can see the progression of this story on Science Daily, which keeps a large and searchable archive:





Of course, there was never the political need to really hammer the issue until now, now that Democrats are at risk of being crucified by the average voter for stonewalling on the offshore drilling ban. So today every news outlet in America is running the story. God help Santa, polar bears and penguins.

Of course, penguins don't live in the arctic, but just a few years ago we were hearing about retreating ice in Antarctica and how this was endangering penguins. Oops. Ice is actually advancing in Antarctica. In fact, there was more global ice in April of this year than since we began measuring some 30 years ago.

Perhaps we better move to the Northern Hemisphere if we want to advance our cause. Say 'hello' to the North Pole and polar bears.

Polar bears are fluffy and cute and are nearly as good as penguins to advance a cause. They are also the first (that I'm aware of) animal to be placed on the endangered list as a preemptive measure. Polar bear population estimates are hard to get, but most authorities on the topic agree that the population is stable right now. Nevertheless, we've had to endure months of ridiculous photos and captions depicting "stranded" polar bears standing on small pieces of ice, or bears swimming through the ice-filled water as though, just a moment ago, everything in the picture had been solid ice.

No one can argue that there is less ice at the North Pole now than there use to be. It may even go "off the rocks" this year. But the fact is that we don't really know what is going on. Alarmists blame this on CO2, but it is a fact that global ice was up as of April; and even in the Northern Hemisphere, the ice sheet in Greenland is actually growing, much to climate change alarmist confusion. Don't worry, though. They'll figure out some way of cramming this fact into their CO2 data. And if they don't? Well, there's always pictures of frolicking polar bears to put out there. Oh, and if we can do it and impact the election, so much the better.

Look for pictures of drowning Santa Clauses soon.

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  1. 2 comments: Responses to “ Evil Conservatives to Kill Santa Claus, Polar Bears and Penguins ”

  2. By The Lonely Conservative on June 27, 2008 at 8:47 PM

    Insanity is the new little black dress.

  3. By Anonymous on July 21, 2008 at 11:38 PM

    Although global temperatures have cooled over the last ten years, the melting of the Arctic ice could be due to eruptions of underwater volcanoes in the Arctic ocean. The linked article says there was a major eruption of an underwater volcano in the Arctic in 1999, which could be heating the water and melting the ice.

    http://environment.newscientist.com/channel/earth/mg19826625.800-arctic-ocean-volcano-blew-its-top--even-under-pressure.html

    This would have nothing to do with "manmade global warming"--when volcanoes erupt above sea level, the ash emitted to the atmosphere usually results in global cooling.