Top 15 Reasons I’ve Decided to Vote For Barack Obama

Written by Paul Zannucci on 8:39 PM

(Editor's Note: this is in response to the I'm Voting Republican Because ad that is running on YouTube)


1) I’m voting Democrat because I’d rather deal with terrorists after they come to America rather than fight them on their own soil.

2) I’m voting Democrat because I believe my property is only mine so long as local governments can’t find a more profitable commercial developer to give it to.

3) I’m voting Democrat because I think that the U.N. and the E.U. should have more say on American policy and how American companies conduct business.

4) I’m voting Democrat because I believe in giving as much of my paycheck as possible to other private citizens in the form of entitlements and pork projects.

5) I’m voting Democrat because I believe in freedom of speech so long as the mainstream media are tilting opinion in my favor; otherwise, I believe in the Fairness Doctrine.

6) I’m voting Democrat because I think terrorists should be dealt with in the judicial system, like embezzlers, rather than like enemy combatants.

7) I’m voting Democrat because I think the solution to education problems is more money—the more the better—because nothing makes you smarter than cash.

8) I’m voting Democrat because I think the problem with elections is that some polling places are insistent on undermining the voice of the people by determining if folks are registered voters, citizens, alive and only voting once.

9) I’m voting Democrat because I believe it’s better to pay $5 for a gallon of gas and have $300 heating bills than to drill for more oil and build new nuclear plants.

10) I’m voting Democrat because I believe the best way to stimulate the economy is to tax it. It’s like tough love.

11) I’m voting Democrat because I believe the best voter is one that can be convinced he’s about to lose something important to him; or one who can be convinced he’s owed something he didn’t earn.

12) I’m voting Democrat because I believe it’s not about what I can do for my country, but what my country can do for me.

13) I’m voting Democrat because I believe the true meaning of liberty is not that all are given equal opportunity but that all are made equal by law.

14) I’m voting Democrat because I believe in negotiating with terrorist states.

15) I’m voting Democrat because I am more outraged by photographs of nude terrorists at Abu Ghraib than I am by videos of planes hitting the twin towers.

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  1. 3 comments: Responses to “ Top 15 Reasons I’ve Decided to Vote For Barack Obama ”

  2. By papundits on June 21, 2008 at 12:14 AM

    Ha ha! You had me going there for a while. I thought you were serious!

    Great post!
    Something to think about....

    Keep up the good work!
    Ed

  3. By Jeremy Sarber on June 23, 2008 at 12:11 PM

    Well done. I'll have to refer some people here to read this.

  4. By Dean on August 12, 2008 at 4:15 PM

    Excellent job, Mr. Zannucci. Outstanding!!!

    I would only add...

    16) I’m voting Democrat because I believe an unhappy woman with a dead baby is far better than a clear-thinking woman with a live baby.

    ...but that's just me. Your 15 are VERY GOOD!!!